


in paper rings, in picture frames, in all my dreams

by oh-rileywilliams (scrxamitout)



Series: clean (we are the tigers au) [3]
Category: We Are The Tigers - Allen
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Annleigh O'Daniel-centric, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, a really weird 5 + 1 thing that got mixed with another fic, inspired in: valentine by preston max allen and paper rings by taylor swift, paper rings, unbeta'ed and the last 500 words were written at 2am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28256451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrxamitout/pseuds/oh-rileywilliams
Summary: Annleigh can't stop thinking about Clark, nor about paper rings.orClark used to give Annleigh paper rings, but now he's gone.
Relationships: Annleigh/Clark (We Are The Tigers)
Series: clean (we are the tigers au) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910689
Kudos: 8





	in paper rings, in picture frames, in all my dreams

**Author's Note:**

> okay soooo basically excuse me this is so unbetaed that I'm sorry!  
> you don't have to but I would recommend to read "time moves at a different pace" before.

There was something in the night that could be comforting.

A darkness that surrounded her room, and the ghost that she wanted to escape was closer than ever. Tomorrow it was going to be Monday, and with that, she was going to have to go to school. To see hers –and Clark’s– friends. To finally face what she has been trying to avoid, to deny its existence.

_ Clark shows up at her house with the worst scratch she ever saw. But his smile is still intact on his face. _

_He is seven and she is five, and they have known each other forever._ _That doesn’t mean they’re similar. While the oldest one is usually smiling and talking with everyone, the younger is quieter and more reserved, hiding behind her dad._

_ “What happened?” The girl asks, worried. _

_ “I fell while training.” He explains. _

It takes her a moment to stop and think about it. He’ll never be waiting for her to finish with the cheer team. She’ll never kiss him after he finishes a game. Clark won’t smile again. He won’t get hurt; he won’t grow older. He will never be a father, or even see his father again. Where he was there’s nothing.

Nothing and a ring.

_ “Does it hurt?” _

_ “A little, but mom taught me how to make a paper ring! Look!” He excitedly shows his hand. “I should make one for you.” _

When she remembers, air is drained quickly from her lungs, and suddenly her breath is shaky and there’s nothing that can be done. Annleigh can feel herself slowly drowning in old memories, with Clark, talking that night just before Cairo arrived. With him in the car. With him in school. With him at a funeral.

And now she has to attend a funeral alone, because it’s his.

_ The second time it happens it’s two years later. _

A powerless feeling creeps from inside, as it slowly devours what was left of her. Everything going so quickly on her mind, the scenes, the blood and slaughter, the pale skin, how Chess was right next to him but they still didn’t look the same.

Annleigh wonders what Cairo and Reese did with the knife. How they blamed Mattie, what it took to make it. She wonders and thinks how his body wasn’t the same they found. She wonders if the price from freedom is to never feel free again, even as odd as it may sound. Because the brushing of her fingers through his hair, and eyes that won’t open ever again is all it takes to feel locked from reality.

_ School turns out to be harder than expected, and Annleigh feels overwhelmed knowing that her teachers think something is wrong. She doesn’t seem to make the mark as the rest of her group, and her mom is constantly trying to help her get better, but numbers are too confusing and she ends up making all her homework wrong. _

But she’s not, and Mattie is. The girl who’s so young she couldn’t handle the peer pressure, nor the alcohol. The girl who’s barely a year younger than Farrah and still so different. The girl that could’ve been saved. Nevertheless, Annleigh couldn’t think of what she would’ve done if they blamed Farrah, if someone else was taken away from her life.

For a moment her mind goes to the police station, and how much Clark would laugh at shows when they showed murders, how bad he was at knowing the ending, how he tried so hard but failed each time, while she could get it just a few minutes in, but never told him that.

_ That day he doesn’t invite her outside, instead sits next to her, playing with some papers and not saying a word. As Annleigh tries time and time again, he just waits. Clark doesn’t push, doesn’t question, he just sits. The girl doesn’t complain, because his presence is calming, grounding. He never talks to her like she’s less, and it makes her wonder why he doesn’t. _

_ He makes her a paper ring. _

The teenager wishes she could so easily know now. Discern the truth and find the justice that her boyfriend deserved.

It felt like losing her mind, grief getting to a point where she wasn’t so sure that he was gone, and it was just one elaborated lie, one more joke he was playing on her like that time in fourth grade when he tried to convince her that they could elope. Or that time when he told her all the scary things about high school that turned up not to be true.

_ Playing mom and dad is fun when it is with Clark. They work together well; they know what the other is going to say. Both of them have already decided on the name for their dog, but still fight about the name of the dolls. _

_ There’s one more thing they can both agree on. _

_ To be a couple, they need rings. _

Because the scariest thing in high school was being alone, which she was now. Because they were a forever couple, he was there for her for longer than she could remember. There was nothing without Clark, there was no life, no friends, no time. Because he had held her moon and stars, and now the weight of them was too heavy on her shoulders.

_ It breaks Annleigh’s heart, because her parents never fight, instead they just have conversations that are for adults and she isn’t supposed to hear. And she can’t think why two people will fight if they promised to be with each other. _

_ She wonders if one day she’ll fight with Clark. _

_ Like really fight, and be angry at each other, but she doesn’t think they will. _

“Annleigh?” Farrah asks, voice barely lower than a whisper.

If she was asleep, she would easily not hear her stepsister calling. And for a moment she considers to play it that way, to lie and say nothing.

“Yes?” She answers.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” She moves in her bed, making room for the smaller girl. “Come here.”

Farrah quickly joins her, for the third time in a row. She’s trying so hard, keeping the bottle as away as she can. And Annleigh had forgotten how young her sister was. Because they’re just a year apart, and a part of her knows that they’re teenagers, but something is so broken that there’s no going back.

The sweet innocence that they had enjoyed before, gone. But maybe Farrah has been gone for longer than she could remember, and maybe she didn’t try to look for her. But now, in her arms, she knows that she’s not gone forever. A part of her intact, and she wants to hold it close, the good, the bad. The annoying little sister part of her.

_ It happens again, when they’re thirteen. _

_ Now Annleigh’s mom is gone, and she knows what it means but can’t understand it. A part of her is too sad, miserable because she didn’t get to say goodbye, she never got to tell her how much she loved her. And the family that used to be of three, is now a family of two. _

_ Clark knocks twice before opening the door. _

She holds Farrah, lamenting what she did.

_ The teenager sits in the edge of the bed, and brushes Annleigh’s hair for a moment. He never pushes for her to talk about what happened, instead giving her time. She spends more time than the one intended in his arms, letting tears out. _

The teenager leaves a single tear fall.

If only.

If only she went for Farrah. If only she was a good sister for her. Then Clark would be safe, and maybe Chess would be okay too. If Farrah just came to the sleepover with her, everything would’ve been fine, nothing would’ve changed.

If.

_ She nods, taking it from his hands. _

_ “Thank you.” _

“Annleigh?” Farrah whispers.

“I’m sorry.” She replies, softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? What happened?” The younger girl asks, a worried look clear in her face.

“I should’ve done better.” Annleigh states. “If I went for you–“

“No.” Her step sister cuts her. “It’s not worth it.”

“But–“ she starts again, “I should’ve known better. I could’ve made things better.”

The silence controls the room again, and for a second the junior can find comfort in it.

_ The last time it happens, she’s sixteen. _

_ “Right from the start, you had my heart.” _

That way it’s easier, to get lost in the memory of everything. In the memory from Clark lying in her bed, to the day that Farrah arrived at her house, to when she made it to the cheer team. Because the past just seems so easy when you know what happens next.

_ “I’ll have the ring.” _

Will it go away at some point? Will she feel the same in the future?

_ “And I will hold you until the end of the world, like you have always carried me.” _

Will it pass?

_ “Will you marry me?” _

It is six in the morning when she finally finds it in herself to get out of bed. She slowly walks to her bathroom, in an attempt to not wake up Farrah again. Annleigh carefully brushes her hair, stares at it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Everything was different during the morning.

So bright, so colorful. Barely warm, but enough for it to be comforting. There are details that get lost in any other moment. And it’s Monday, the first day of school after the tragic night. What would’ve been the most common thing to do before, now is a reminder of what happened.

But Annleigh is alive. So she prepares for school.

**Author's Note:**

> as always comments are really lovely and so are kudos and say hi on my tumblr (oh-boleyn)!


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